B-Movie Star

I still have time - it's only 11:54 where I am - so here's some art for you today since I only have five minutes to post this. Yes, you can say it. SLACKER!!!!

Both of these were done with my latest kit, "Mad Hatter Tea Party" and yes it's on sale now! At Designs In Digital.

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Yeah, I've been pretty MIA around here . . . and it could keep happening, I'm not making any promises. Life is so crazy isn't it? I suspect everyone's is.  We are getting back into the groove of school and bedtimes and routines. I'm not too good with all that - surprise, surprise! I do make an attempt, but I'm easily distracted by bright shiny objects . . .

Okay, where was I? Yeah, there's a lot going on. My sister is slowly passing from this world. It's been difficult to handle. She has MS and it has been methodically shutting her body down. The last couple of years have just been a steady downhill ride for her. Today she lives in the rest home. She has a feeding tube. She can't walk, can't use the bathroom on her own, can't  move any part of her body except she can slightly squeeze her left hand just a bit.  She can't talk or swallow even a sip of water.  She looks at me and I don't know if she knows who I am all the time. Sometimes she's there, and sometimes she's somewhere else.

I'm in and out of the grief stages all the time. Sometimes I'm in denial. Some part of me is like, "oh, she going to get better." It seems the right thing to think, people get better, right?  It seems unfathomable that she won't get better. But, you can't think that when you see her. Sometimes I'm really pissed off. I'm pissed that the MS association is all, "This disease can't kill you,  blah, blah, blah . . ." oh really? Well then can you explain what the hell is going on with my sister, because she's 40 years old and most 40 year olds do not live in the rest home and wear diapers and can't even so much as cry out like a baby and tell you when they are hungry or in pain or ANYTHING.  So explain that to me cheerful MS Association.  It's not their fault, I know,  but I'm just pissed that no one seems to tell you that MS causes some people to suffer dementia - I mean there are lesions on their brains. Some people with MS will not "manage" their disease. Some kids with parents who have MS will not always have a parent.  Not everyone with MS gets off with just being in a wheel chair. I guess that's all I'm saying and I wish more people understood that.

The grief is overwhelming and unbelievable. It never seems to end. The person that I knew as my sister is gone. I don't know where she went. I guess the MS monster ate her up. I miss her all the time.  It's hard to lose her because she is part of me - almost like a twin, a mirror of myself. My touchstone and depository of memories of my childhood. She's the only one who knows some of the things that I know. She shared the experiences that I've had - she knows what they smelled like, and what color they wore and she could laugh at the inside jokes that no one else gets. She was my co-conspirator, my confidant, my rival, my friend.

Sure, I know she's a caterpillar in a cocoon - I know soon she will be a butterfly - and for that I'm grateful.  I don't want her to suffer any longer. I'm ready to let her go for that reason, but I can't say it's easy. I can't say I'm selfless about it. I can't say I'm not sad, angry, sick,  oh, everything about it.

I hope all is well in your world - hug somebody today.

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I'm hosting the August 4th Speed Scrap at Designs in Digital. If you've never been to one it's lots of fun and you should really come and try it.  Beginning at 9:00 p.m. est a few instructions for a layout will be posted. Then six more instructions are posted every ten minutes! The first one done will win a nice prize and even if you aren't finished first, you will still win a participation prize!! It's also nice to chat with others who are scrapping, so come by and make a layout, and win something!!!! YAY

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You know when you're in bed and you roll over to check the time, only to discover that you've woken up fifteen minutes before your alarm is set to go off, and you frantically try to force yourself back to sleep, and the harder you try to sleep the more you wake up, so when the alarm goes off, you're already in a grumpy mood about being cheated out of those fifteen minutes of sleep . . . yeah, that sucks.

That's how this part of summer feels to me - I can see the end of summer - school starting, routines beginning again and so I feel all frantic to enjoy the summer as much as possible before it slips away.

How's your summer going?  I've discovered that I have a sensitivity to wheat and gluten products, and the nutritionist I went to also recommended that I have a dairy free diet as well. So I've been eating gluten and dairy free for about a week. Wow.  You never know how many things have wheat in them before you can't eat it! Thank goodness we live in a time when Celiac's Disease is more known and there are lots of products and substitutes to cook with and eat.  It's really been a challenge, I'm not going to lie to you. I will miss wheat products, but more than the wheat, I think I miss dairy! Cheese, cream cheese, cottage cheese, sour cream . . . sigh. Oh, and what about my childhood favorite - Tuna noodle casserole . . . wow I just realized that's off limits. I wonder if there's such a thing as dairy free cheese that you could make mac and cheese from?

I have noticed that I am starting to feel better. At first I think I was going through a detox and just felt like crap for a couple of days, but luckily those symptoms are passing. So, I'm not complaining (although I do have a tendency to whine a bit about it!) I'm ready for this new food chapter. Gabby and David are eating the same diet as me, David less than Gabby, but he's still doing good - he's having a hard time giving up croutons on his salad!  I've suggested nuts, but you know it's just not the same!

I'm also supposed to be keeping a gratitude journal - which I think is a really good idea.  It does help turn your thoughts from feeling sorry for yourself!

Here's a little card I made to remind myself, but maybe you want one to print out and tape on your mirror, if so, just right click to open up the larger file to save and print.

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The owner of Designs In Digital, Lisa Jo, will be featured  on the DigiScrap Map Video Chat with Saturday, July 10th at 2PM EST. You don't want to miss this because she will be giving away some great FREEBIES and Coupons! Who doesn't love free or discounted stuff!

This is one of the kits that she will be giving away - it's an add on to one of her larger kits that you can find over here

I also have a new mini kit in the shop - inspired by Bob Marley's song . . . you can get it in the shop or you can try to get a free copy on Saturday - I'm telling you there's lots of great stuff!

So don't forget to come join us on Saturday and find out about Lisa, Design In Digital, Just Digi Layouts and grab a bunch of freebies and coupons.

Also, don't forget to check out Designs In Digital - there's always great stuff going on over there - sales, layout challenges, and right now there's a Designer Call if you're interested!

And here's just one of the great sales going on

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I forgot to share with you this most awesome card that I had made for Gabby for her graduation and birthday! I have a friend, Brent Engstrom, who draws artwork for the "Garbage Pail Kids" Cards and "Wacky Pack" Cards, as well as lots of other art.  He also offers his services to create personalized trading cards with anything on them that you want. They are so clever and well done!

This is the one that he did for Gabby. We tease her sometimes by calling her "Crabby Gabby" so what would be more perfect that her in the style of a Garbage Pail Kid with that name?  She absolutely loves it - plus it's a one of a kind work of art - featuring HER!!!!

He is still offering this service, so if you would like to have your very own personal work of art - head over to Brent Engstrom's website and check out some of his other stuff - he's really the best, and a very nice guy on top of it all!  Just click on the card below to shoot on over there!

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Ready to hang out in the air-conditioning and watch a movie? Here's my personal list of fourteen top (14? really? who knows why) favorite summer flicks that you need to check out!

14.  Let's go straight to the Beach with Elvis - Blue Hawaii!

13. Now let's go straight to the beach  with Connie Francis and Yvette Mimieux - Where the Boys Are

12. Isn't it HOT out?!  Here's a movie that sympathizes with you - Cat on Hot Tin Roof  rawr!

11.  Here's another movie where the heat is making everyone irritable - Do The Right Thing

10.  How 'bout some steamy Alfred Hitchcock with a side of Jimmy Stewart and Grace Kelly? - Rear Window

9.  Want to get your hot freak on? There's Suddenly Last Summer . . .

8.  Now let's cool off with some refreshing - Mermaids

7.  Feel Better? Did I hear you say you want some hot, dusty adventure? - Raiders of the Lost Ark

6. Need to tone down the testosterone?  Divine Secrets of the YaYa Sisterhood!

5.  How about a nice movie about kids at summer camp . . . WHO DIE!   Friday the 13th

4. Feeling alienated? Ghost World

3. Matthew Broderick is always good  - my favorite - Biloxi Blues

2. Girl buddies movie - love it - Now and Then

1. and my number one favorite summer movie - dum da dum . . . STAND BY ME! oh yeah!

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When I was kid, on the last day of school the teacher would give you a list of things to do over the summer, and it usually had a list of books that they recommended you read. I, being a consummate nerd (see, I even used the word consummate), would pour over the list every summer planning how I would get supplies to make certain craft projects. Scheming who I would get to help me build certain things, or be in certain homemade clubs with me, or basically be my accomplice. It usually turned out to be my sister. She was game for all my crazy plans - she did outgrow that, by the way.  Man, I loved those days!

This summer I started thinking I should reprise the Summer List. One because I'm still a nerd and I love lists. Two because I always think of things I should do, or would like to do, then I usually forget it until it's too late or something.

Okay, so here's my list - just off the top of my head tonight. I think I will add to it as I go. If you have any suggestions, please feel free to let me know. I especially like book and movie recommendations.

• Make a scrapbook - real world, not digital
• Have a picnic
• Go to a ballgame
• Take at least one photo a day
• Make a book list and read them all
• Make a list of movies I want to see
• Spend one weekend away with my husband
• Blow up balloons, tie notes to them and set them free for someone else to find
• Spend a day at the lake with Gabby
• Make a family game night every Friday - each person gets to choose the game on different nights
• paint the bathroom
• go to all the local museums in the area
• work on my family website
• Have an outdoor movie party
• Grill
• practice sewing (HA! oh my sewing skills are pretty lame!)
• Finish a painting and make more art

Read, read, read!!!!

What are you doing this summer?

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Okay, so wow, May is over and I thought June would slow things down a bit for me . . . HA! I was so wrong! We started painting the living room over the weekend - three day weekend should cover that project right? No. Not at all. My house looks like a house you've seen on "Hoarders" I was trying to be all zen about it, then today I had a moment when a walkway was blocked with a plant stand and I turned to go another way and a trash can was in my way and I almost lost it and began throwing things . . . but I stopped myself and just in time. It will change. It will get clean again. Not in the time frame I initially thought, but it will happen so that's something to look forward to. The room is painted, there are a few places that need touch ups, but it's pretty much done. I bought the wrong size curtain rod, and I bought curtain "scarves" instead of "panels" so I have to exchange all that ARGH! who knew window coverings were so darn complicated!!! Not me, that's who. I'm so naive.

Yesterday I had to take our cat to the vet. He was laying in the closet and it looked like he had soiled himself and not cleaned it off. Come to find out he had been bitten on the tail and he was running a fever. Poor cat. He's doing good today. He's still at the vet but his fever is down and he's on antibiotics and the vet said he's acting much better. I'm so relieved because at first they were talking about running blood tests to see if his kidneys were failing, or if his pancreas wasn't working and so a bite on the tail, which is bad enough, doesn't seem quite so bad as the alternatives. I will get him back tomorrow morning! What a relief! He's an old cat, about 12 or 13, but I think he should live forever. If only other cats would leave him the heck alone!

Then this morning at about 2:30 or 3:00 I was getting ready to go to bed finally, after being up late finishing a work project and the phone rang. It was the hospital where my sister is and they had to take her to the E.R. because she was having a seizure. They didn't know what was going on, but they were calling me to let us know. Usually they would call my parents, but they had just left to go on vacation for a week.  The nurse who was calling said that my sister was fine at the time,  so I didn't need to go to the hospital. This morning when I called them to see how she was doing, they had done a CT scan and couldn't find anything. They don't know what caused the seizure. Hopefully she will be released from the hospital and can go back to the care facility where she lives. Then we can get her an appointment with her neurologist and they can do more testing. It's just crazy. People who tell you that MS isn't a very bad disease are sadly mistaken. This disease sucks. So anyway. It's been a crazy month so far and here it is only the second day!

I'm hoping it gets better!

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I wanted to show you my newest kit - just in time for Memorial Day . . . and later Independence Day! See how that works! And also let you know that there is a huge sale going on over at Designs In Digital this weekend. My store is 30% off everything all weekend long!!!! Whoo Hoo!  Get on over there and take a look around, maybe pick up a few things . . . it'll be FUN!

So here's the new kit. I'll have some layouts later, and maybe a little freebie in the near future!!!! Have a great weekend everyone!!! And most importantly - thanks to all the Military Men, Women and their families!!!

Cheers!

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