I’m still here. It’s just been busy. Remember last week when it was summer? Well it’s officially fall around here. Today I’m thinking about cooking chili or stew with cornbread . . . tonight the Broncos are playing, yeah, it’s fall all right.
We had a great Labor Day weekend. My in-laws came up and brought my brother in law who’s in the seminary, and they also brought Reverend Joe, a good friend of the family who is also in the seminary. We ate a lot – I feel like I was cooking half of the time – played games, scrabble and cards, watched a couple movies, played with the dog, and then just sat around a talked a lot. That’s really the most fun isn’t it? Just sitting around talking . . . at least that’s what I like to do. My mother in law is so different from my own mom. My own mom doesn’t know how to sit. She’s always doing something and it makes you feel like you should be busy too. She doesn’t know how to just relax and enjoy people’s company. My mother in law on the other hand doesn’t mind sitting down to just do nothing. It’s refreshing.
It was also my husband’s birthday – so there was cake and ice cream – you’re never too old for that! I made yellow cupcakes with chocolate frosting, his favorite.
Then we spent the rest of the week adjusting to school starting, and volleyball practices, and playing in the band during the football game, and homework and getting up early and all that that entails . . . it’s good to be getting back in the groove.
I’ve also been thinking about today in the back of my mind. It’s the anniversary of our son’s birth, which should be a happy day I know, but our son was stillborn so what should be a happy day is a sad day. Oh, there’s so much I could say about this day, but I’m trying to remain . . . not crying . . . I don’t know what the word is for that.
Today, I’ll try to do all the things I would normally do – try to keep myself busy so I don’t set around and think about him. We’ll go to the cemetery later and put flowers on his grave. Two roses for two years. It does get easier, but it never really goes away. I miss him. I wish I wasn’t going to the cemetery on his birthday.
I still think of you everyday. I still miss you and I always will.
Thy birth, O Virgin Mother of God,
heralded joy to all the world.
For from thou hast risen the Sun of justice,
Christ our God.
Destroying the curse, He gave blessing;
and damning death, He bestowed on us
Blessed art thou among women
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb.
For from thou hast risen of Sun of justice,
Christ our God.