So Saturday night we were sitting around, it was about 11:00 p.m. and Gabby decided she wanted to pierce her ear. Okay, actually she’s been talking about this for at least a month. She wanted to have it pierced in the cartilage part of her ear and we haven’t been able to find a place to do it. It’s a sure sign that you live in the sticks when you can’t find a place that does body piercing. I called the local tattoo parlor (the ear piercing place at the mall recommended that route) and they don’t do piercing. I don’t really understand it. I guess insurance must be sky high for this kind of thing or something. So, anyhoo, Gabby just got a bug up her butt that she was going to do it herself.
When I was a kid my mom pierced my ears. It was a different time though. Girls slept with hard plastic curlers in their hair and wore dresses that came up to their butt and socks that came up to their knees. We didn’t know any better. We didn’t wear seat belts and bike helmets. We pierced our own ears and walked a mile to school . . . in the snow . . . uphill . . . both ways!
Okay, sorry, I got all old and senile there for a sec. Back to Saturday night and Gabby’s bug up her butt. Well, I was all indifferent and told her it was okay but I sure as the heck wasn’t going to be the one to stab the needle into her ear. I worked really hard to make that ear all perfect and I wasn’t feeling like jabbing a hole in it. She wanted to know how we pierced ears back in the old days so I explained how my mom did it.
I’ll tell you too, but I won’t be held accountable for any infections or mutilations that you may suffer if you decide to follow these directions and try a piercing on yourself. Isn’t the Internet great? You can find out anything you never wanted to know.
Okay. First you clip a clothespin on your ear and wear it for about 30 minutes or until the ear is numb. You also need some ice to apply after you remove the clothes pin. Make sure you clean your ear with some alcohol and also sterilize the needle. (Old school is by running the needle through your lighter flame, but do that at your own risk) My mom used a sewing machine needle, but Gabby used an upholstery needle. You need a larger needle so that the hole will be big enough for your earring to fit into.
So then Gabby sat with a clothespin on her ear and thought about what she was about to do. I suggested she call her uncle, my brother, and see if he would come over and stab a needle in her ear. You know uncles love to do crap like that. Unfortunately, he was already busy when she called him. My mom was working an evening shift and wasn’t available, so the next thing I knew she’s looking over at me and there is a needle sticking out of her ear!
Let me tell you that Gabby does not screw around. I was sort of shocked that she just DID it. No way would I have been able to pierce my own ear. I looked at her and I was all, “Gabby you are HARDCORE!” I think she was so pumped on adrenaline she was as surprised about it all as I was. Then she started singing, “I Turned Out a Punk,” which made me laugh.
You would be surprised to know that there was no blood really, and also she reported that there wasn’t any pain during the procedure. She pulled the needle out and asked me to help her get the earring in. I was able to help her with that although that’s really the tough part – the ear obviously wants to immediately begin closing up the wound. We got the earring in and voila! She’s now pierced, and if she’s ever wounded while on a covert mission in the jungle, she can give herself stitches.
Gabby is a bad-ass.